Facebooking For Wolves
by I'mtheAlphahearmeRoar
Summary: What if Teen Wolf had Facebook? Would it be crazy? Yep. Pretty much so. See what our favourite 'lunar-tics' all get up to here! There even might be some Sterek involved ;)
1. Alpha On Facebook

_**Okay so this is me trying out one of my OMG-I-am-so-crazy ideas! It's a TW Facebook fic!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski **_has logged on

_**Scott McCall **_has logged on

* * *

Messages-

**_Stiles Stilinski _**to **_Scott_ _McCall-_ **Woah. Dude. You too?

_**Scott McCall-** _What?

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Facebook. You too?

**_Scott McCall- _**Uh... yeah. Why? Is it bad?

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Naw man, it's cool. Just didn't think you'd be on here, what with you dating Allison and stuff

**_Scott McCall- _**Huh? What do you mean?

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Idk. Allison? Hunter? She just seems like the kinda girl that would think her boyfriend having a Facebook account is lame, ya know?

**_Scott McCall- _**Stiles, Allison has it too

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**What! Really?

**_Scott McCall- _**Yeah bro, she's the one who got me on here a week ago

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Ha! Dude this totally deserves a status! Hold on a min...

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski_** updated his status-

Who would've thought that an Argent would have Facebook! O.o

_10 seconds ago_

**_- Like_**

**_- Comment_**

**_- Share_**

* * *

**_Christopher Argent _**has logged on

* * *

_**Christopher Argent**_ likes **_Stiles Stilinski's _**status

_Just now_

* * *

Messages-

**_Stiles Stilinski_ **to **_Scott McCall- _**... OMG

* * *

**_Scott McCall _**has logged off

* * *

Messages-

**_Stiles Stilinski_ **to **_Scott McCall- _**Pussy!

* * *

Pokes-

**_Stiles Stilinski- _****_Christopher Argent_** has poked you

_2 seconds ago_

**_- Poke back_**

**_- Remove_**

* * *

Pokes-

**_Christopher Argent- Stiles Stilinski _**has poked you

_Just now_

**_- Poke back_**

**_- Remove_**

* * *

Messages-

**_Christopher Argent _**to **_Stiles Stilinski-_** Now, do you really think it's wise to poke a hunter?

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Dude, you poked me first!

**_Christopher Argent- _**Talking back isn't wise either

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**WHAAA! Stop being mean, Chris! Internet bullying is a crime! :P

**_Christopher Argent- _**And being a smart ass will only get you killed, Stilinski

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**... Point taken

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski _**has logged off

* * *

Messages-

_**Christopher Argent** _to **_Stiles Stilinski- _**To think, a couple days ago I thought that having a Facebook account wouldn't be fun. How wrong could I have been :)

* * *

The Next Day

* * *

**_Allison Argent _**has logged on

**_Stiles Stilinski _**has logged on

* * *

Messages-

_**Allison Argent **_to**_ Stiles Stilinski-_ **I heard you were Facebook bullied by my dad last night. What happened?

_**Stiles Stilinski- **_God damn it. SO true when they say everything gets around on Facebook!

_**Allison Argent- **_Lol Stiles. Dad told me about it this morning so Facebook isn't the culprit. What did he do anyway?

**_Stiles Stilinski-_ **He was harassing me!

_**Allison Argent- **_WHAT. How?

**_Stiles Stilinski-_ **He poked me :(

**_Allison Argent-_ **Oh. Really? That's it?

**_Stiles Stilinski-_ **That's it!? He fucking POKED me, Allison!

**_Allison Argent-_ **Lmao Stiles. You're an idiot

**_Stiles Stilinski-_ **Huh. I see how it is now. The Argents run their own internet-harassment business as well as family hunting business

* * *

_**Allison Argent**_ added a job at FamilyArgentInternetHarassment to her _**Timeline**_

* * *

Messages-

_**Stiles Stilinski**_ to _**Allison Argent-** _That was rhetorical!

_**Allison Argent-**_ Not anymore honey ;)

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski** _updated his status-

My life. Seriously!

_5 seconds ago_

_**- Like**_

_**- Comment**_

_**- Share**_

* * *

_**Allison Argent**_ likes **_Stiles Stilinski's_** status

_Just now_

* * *

6 Hours Later

* * *

**_Derek Hale _**joined Facebook

_30 minutes ago_

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski _**has logged on

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski-** **Derek Hale**_ sent you a friend request

**_- Accept_**

**_- Decline_**

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski**_ is now friends with _**Derek Hale**_

_Just now_

**_- Like_**

**_- Comment_**

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski_ **updated his status-

Alpha on Facebook! I repeat! ALPHA ON FACEBOOK!

_1 minute ago_

_**- Like**_

_**- Comment**_

_**- Share**_

* * *

_**Derek Hale** _commented on _**Stiles Stilinski's**_ status-

Very funny

_2 seconds ago_

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski**_ also commented on his status-

Ikr. Such a comedian I am! :D

_Just now_

* * *

30 Minutes Later

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski-_ _Derek Hale_** de-friended you

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski** _updated his status-

SOURWOLF!

_2 minutes ago_

**_- Like_**

**_- Comment_**

**_- Share_**

* * *

_**Derek Hale**_ likes _**Stiles**** Stilinski's**_ status

_1 minute ago_

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski_ **commented on his status-

I hate sourwolves -.-

_50 seconds ago_

* * *

_**Derek Hale**_ also commented on **_Stiles Stilinski's_ **status-

Sourwolves hate Stileses too

_35 seconds ago_

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski_** commented on his status-

Your grammar sucks. GET SPELL CHECK DUMBASS!

_20 seconds ago_

* * *

_**Derek Hale** _also commented on _**Stiles Stilinski's**_ status-

How about YOU get a life

_5 seconds ago_

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski**_ commented on his status-

Oh piss off

_1 second ago_

* * *

_**Derek Hale**_ also commented on **_Stiles Stilinski's_ **status-

Gladly :3

_Just now_

* * *

_**Derek Hale**_ has logged off

* * *

_**I hope you liked this. I tried to make it as close to the real Facebook we use now.**_

_**This was just a tester chapter to see if people would be interested. **__**I will most likely post more if this gets some reviews.**_  


**_So yeah. I'll leave you to it._**

**_Thanks for reading! :)_**


	2. Sourwolf Trolling & Peeing In The Dark?

_**WOW! Seriously, me checking my email was so uplifting. **__**I was like- **__***rubs eyes* Are you shittin' me? Lol.**_

_**I LOVE YOU GUYS! *HUGZ***_

_**Thank you so much for all this support! :)**_

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski**_ has logged on

_**Scott McCall**_ has logged on

* * *

Messages-

_**Scott McCall** _to _**Stiles Stilinski-**_ Uh, dude. Why the hell is Derek on here?

_**Stiles Stilinski-** _Pfft. Hell if I know, man. He just randomly joined last night. Ever since this place has become gloomy-land

_**Scott McCall-**_ Lol. Gloomy land?

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ Yep. It's totally like he's rolling around in the Facebook system and rubbing his sourwolf genes all over the place

_**Scott McCall-**_ Aw, c'mon. Dog jokes are low, man

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ Not if they're about Derek. The guy has serious issues

_**Scott McCall-**_ And what? You don't? :P

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ Shut up. My mother had me tested!

_**Scott McCall-**_ Lol Stiles. A Big Bang Theory reference?

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ You know it! :D

_**Scott McCall-**_ Ha ha. So is Derek, y'know, Facebook friendly?

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ Dude, it's DEREK!

**_Scott McCall-_** Right

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ I mean, come on! He de-friended me! What sort of Facebook friend does that?

_**Scott McCall-**_ Someone who's not Derek?

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ Exactly!

_**Scott McCall-**_ You think he'll send you another friend request?

_**Stiles Stilinski-** _Ha! Doubt it. He probably never even logs on. I bet he just made the account so he can keep a close eye on the pack

_**Scott McCall-**_ So, like, internet stalking?

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ Nope. Even worse

_**Scott McCall-** _Dude. What could be worse than internet stalking?

_**Stiles Stilinski-** _...

_**Scott McCall-**_ ?

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ ...

_**Scott McCall-**_ Stiles?

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ ...

_**Scott McCall- **_Hey, dude, what's up?

_**Stiles Stilinski-** _*deep breath* DEREK IS SOURWOLF TROLLING!

_**Scott McCall-**_ hgjkghdkhdhjflfk

_**Stiles Stilinski-** _Uh, Scott?

**_Scott McCall-_ **Sorry man, made me drop my phone

_**Stiles Stilinski-** _Lol lol lol!

**_Scott McCall-_ **But seriously, sourwolf trolling?

_**Stiles Stilinski-** _Yeah dude, it's a Derek thing... *whispers* So we'll have to be EXTRA cautious from now on, you hear?

_**Scott McCall-**_ I hear ya. But how?

_**Stiles Stilinski-**_ Idk man. We'll have to pee with the lights off?

_**Scott McCall-**_ Okay c- wait, that was a joke right?

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski** _has logged off

* * *

Messages-

**_Scott McCall_** to _**Stiles Stilinski-** _Right?

_10:24 pm_

* * *

_**Scott McCall-** _You WERE joking... right?

_10:29 pm_

* * *

**_Scott McCall-_ **Stiles?

_10:36 pm_

* * *

_**Scott McCall-**_ Aw c'mon, man! I can't pee in the dark!

_10:55 pm_

* * *

Messages-

_**Melissa McCall**_ to **_Stiles Stilinski-_** Now Stiles, I don't believe you would happen to know why there's pee on my bathroom floor. Hmmm?

_11:59 pm_

* * *

The Next Day

* * *

Messages-

**_Stiles Stilinski_** to **_Scott McCall-_** I hate you SO much right now! -.-

* * *

3 Hours Later

* * *

Messages-

_**Scott McCall**_ to **_Stiles Stilinski-_** xD

* * *

_**I wrote this in bed while I actually NEEDED to pee. Ha ha.**_

_**Poor Mrs McCall.**_

_**But ahhhhh, BROMANCE!**_


	3. A Very Sourwolf-ish Letter From Stiles

_**Thanks to all the more supporters!**_

_** Love ya's! :)**_

_**(this isn't a Facebook chapter but my muse was gnawing away at this idea so I just HAD to write it.)**_

* * *

_**To Scott (the worst best friend EVER)**_

Ever since _you_, Scott, decided to be an_ IDIOT_ and _try to_ (because who am I kidding, right? you did _not _get it down there straight, man) accomplish the peeing-in-the-dark-and-making-a-mess-in-the-bath room stunt, my life has turned to shit (utter _shit_, my friend!)

Wanna know, why?

(i'm gonna tell you _anyway_. so you better not be bitching at me, buddy.)

Well, here's the thing.

(the_ BIG_ thing, I tell you.)

My dad _somehow _heard word of it from (you can guess who, can't ya? yeah. you're not _that _dumb, are you Scott?) and decided to formerly _ban_ me from Facebook for a week (a _WEEK_, Scott! do you know what _happens _on Facebook in a week? _NEARLY __EVERYTHING_!)_  
_

He even went all 'sumo Stilinski Sheriff' on me and regarded my "obscene" whining and complaints with his own firm and angry (oh yeah. did I mention he was angry? yeah, well he was. and man, he was _pissed) _judgment that it was a "well justified and fair punishment" (which it is _not_! no way!) for making you, Scott, my friend, and I _quote _his very words buddy, "piss all over the McCall's bathroom ceiling, walls and floor" (how the fuck did you do _that_, Scott! _HOW_?)

It _sucked_.

A lot.

A _WHOLE _lot.

So yeah.

Thanks, Scott!

Really buddy, buddy 'o mine, buddy 'ol pal?

_Thank you_.

STILES APPRECIATES IT _SO FUCKING MUCH_!

*insert Derek's sourwolf Facebook emoticon here*

Wait, does he even _have _one of those?

Oh, who cares!

*regard Derek's sourwolf emoticon _ABOVE_)

_**Hateful thoughts (and just maybe a very VERY true-to-his-word death threat) **__**from a mad as pretty much ALL Derek sourwolves in gloomy-land, Stiles Stilinski**_

* * *

_**Don't worry. **_

_**Stiles will get over it.**_

_**He always does, don't he? :P**_


	4. Curiosity Killed The Cat (not Stiles)

_**So, ahem, me being a silly person accidentally went over chapter 4 with chapter 1 while editing out a few word changes in the story. I had to delete it. I'm so sorry! For this you guys deserve a BIG apology, something worth more than words. I present you this chapter in hopes that you forgive me.**_

_***hides***_

_**If this works I will be eternally grateful... and forever in your debt... or something like that...**_

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski** _has logged on

**_Derek Hale _**has logged on

* * *

Messages-

**_Stiles Stilinski _**to** _Derek Hale- _**Hey! I haven't seen you on here in a while. What has it been... 3 weeks?

**_Derek Hale- _**I've been busy

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Fair enough, then

**_Derek Hale- _**Hmm

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Sooooo... what's up?

**_Derek Hale- _**Same as usual

**_Stiles__ Stilinski- _**Oh, cool cool_  
_

**_Derek Hale-_** What about you?

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Huh?

**_Derek Hale- _**You, Stiles. How is everything?_  
_

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Oh. Um. Same as usual? ... I guess?

**_Derek Hale- _**Okay

**_Stiles Stilinski-_ **Ha. Yeah. Nothing much changes when your daily schedule only revolves around going to school, coming home, doing homework then going to bed... finished up with the regular nightly activities of course. Y'know? ;)

**_Derek Hale- _**Urgh. I really DIDN'T need to know that

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Puh-lease! Dude, it's not like you haven't ever jerked off at least once in your life

**_Derek Hale- _**...

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Wait... HAVE you?

**_Derek Hale- _**Shut up

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**OMG. You don't jerk off? At ALL?

**_Derek_**_ **Hale- **_Stop it

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Ha. Ha. Pfft. Yeah right. I'm an idiot. Of course you have. You're a guy. Guys jerk off. It's only natural that you have

**_Derek Hale- _**Stiles

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Huh. Wait a sec. Unless... Oh! Hey, is that even a THING with werewolves? Jerking off? Like, do you even even NEED to jerk off?

**_Derek _**_**Hale-** _STILES

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Or is it like getting drunk? Like, I know you fur balls can't get drunk. It's a simple fact of werewolf anatomy. So if that's the case, does that mean you guys don't need to jerk off either?

**_Derek Hale- _**... Why are you asking me this?

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Dunno. Curiosity, man

**_Derek Hale- _**Right. And could you, oh I don't know, maybe take your curiosity somewhere ELSE?

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Well, I COULD... but then, where's the fun in that?

**_Derek Hale- _**I don't see this being any fun

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Hahaha. Yeah, of course you don't sourwolf. I'm practically snooping my way into your 'little Derek's' playtime routine. Confidential information, my friend. And I'm doing a lot of snooping

**_Derek Hale- _**You could STOP

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**True, I COULD. But really, we're just going back to the whole 'no fun in that' speech. And me stopping this? Yeah. NOT fun

* * *

**_Derek Hale _**has logged off

* * *

Messages-

**_Stiles Stilinski _**to **_Derek Hale- _**SO rude

_9:54 am_

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**Ya know, you didn't have to be such an asshole

_9:57 am_

* * *

_**Stiles Stilinski-** _But that's just you, isn't it?

_10:01 am_

* * *

**_Stiles Stilinski- _**I'm going to have to do something about this...

_10:03 am_

* * *

**_Next chapter will be Stiles 'doing something' about Derek's sourwolf attitude. It will have hilarious results, trust me ;)_**


End file.
